puzzle pieces

i stole an idea for a blog from a pen pal on FB
i've read a lot of inspiring posts but this one just drove me
to respond because i've questioned the same thing for awhile now

this is the jest of what she wrote:

"...i am such a puzzle...too many pieces and wonder if anyone can love all the pieces..can I"

this sounds like me and, i'm sure, so many other women too
and men, maybe, but i'm doubtful
but i could be wrong guys, just sayin

anyway, this is what i want to say, try to stay with me and just open your mind a bit

let me start with this...
you can't have too many pieces because if you do
you have two separate puzzles
 we are just one

 i believe
the puzzle we speak of
started out as being a whole picture
a scene, our life

then, cast upon the earth we came in pieces 
in order to transition from one of non physical
to one of physical
you know, like particles of light, matter, coming in waves and
forming pictures on a tv screen or a computer
like purchases that come with "some assembly required"

for me, i like the corner pieces because they are easy to recognize
then the outline or borders for the same reason
then its on to the middle, the heart of the puzzle, the soul

you already know what your heart says
what it believes
what its function is
and what its potential is

you work on finding the pieces, they do exist, there are none missing
be sure of this
one piece at a time
sometimes we need help, assistance, guides
they are called friends, family, lovers, partners, enemies, acquaintances, passer bys, etc
we have to let them help
we continue the assembly

again, one piece at a time

the soul
what you truly are
one of love, vibration and so much to draw from
and offer to others, so much to share
never ending light

you'll see the light
keep searching in that big pile of seemingly endless pieces
full of color, arrays, geometric shapes and lines

that's you

piece by piece
bringing the picture into full view
it was there all along
you can just see it now with your physical eyes

the awakening

your life is only a "puzzle" to you
its beautiful
but even so is the process of putting it together

maybe you misplaced a piece
frantically struggling to locate it

panic, sad, depression, doubt, hopelessness

look on the floor, you'll find it there
pick it up, dust it off
maybe the edges are a little torn, jagged,
faded, discolored
all that which we call imperfections
remnants of time

love your work of art anyway
it is perfect in the eyes of creation
and know that there are others
that struggle to put their puzzles together too
who wonder if what they created
in this physical world
can be loved in its entirety
loved by someone special
another soul, being, heart, who will like
what they see and like the feelings that the puzzle
brings, the emotion, appreciate the work that went into it
appreciate the art and want to add to it
be a part of putting it together with you

the answer is "yes"

but you have to be open, allowing
the borders and corners have to be flexible
somewhat permeable without breaking down
willing

but only you can answer whether or not you love
your own creation
i know you can, we all can

ask...what's not to love
then

let it go

and when the question comes back around
and it will
let it go again

and again

until you have in your heart 

trust

ah, yeah, trust in yourself

trust that your life,


is not 

a puzzle 

afterall

bouncing thoughts, pin ball to bingo

writing is like an addiction
i know about addictions
gotta have it, do it, see it, breath it, be it

a keyboard on a computer is like a keyboard on a piano
i sit, postured, ready, fingers hovering the back lit letters
ready to pounce and translate thoughts to screen via buttons
make beautiful music
even if i'm the only audience
i enjoy the sound
and the release
soothing and...
relaxing

ahhhhh

gotta get my fix

my thoughts have been scrambling, bouncing around like the lil round steely
in a pin ball machine
the weird thing is
that steely, my thoughts, ricocheting off built-in barriers,
is being smacked around by those paddles controlled by
none other than...


me

i just want to hit that bell at the top, damn it
send the shiny ball down the sides
only to be ejected back into the playing field
(which is a good thing)

the object? the goal?

don't let steely go between the paddles or...

game over

good, i'm tired of playing this stupid game anyway
it's time for a new one

venture out, expand my mind, fill it with new thoughts
new feelings, new hopes, new light and new love

yeah, to hell with pin ball

let's play bingo!

oh, i am going to be one busy thinking girl