recession

i did a research paper on
the 2008 burst of the housing bubble

pop! pop!

i didn't even know what the fuck
that meant "housing bubble"
how ignorant i am...no...was

i took my education for granted
took those opportunities and
disregarded them

it wasn't my fault, you know,

the disappearance of my job
the disappearance of my 401
the disappearance of my good credit
the disappearance of my home
the disappearance of me

i feel "me" changing
everything i thought i was supposed
to work for was wrong

it is my fault
i wasn't paying attention

the ache in my stomach
reminds me that i haven't
let go of the wheel

got a death grip on the ores
as i struggle to fight the
current of the river...
what i want is upstream
so it feels like

what, i can't be bitter?
i can't be pee oh-ed that
things aren't goin my way?

that i played the game hard
and with diligence and still...

lost

no, this isn't pitty
not anymore
this is bitter

the bitter that stings
that eats away at the lining
that blocks my dreams
and monopolizes my thoughts

i spend way too much time
in my thoughts, in my head

the bitter is causing the ache

it is my fault

what a lesson
bring it on...recession