avoid the mirrors

each day i look in the mirror i see a changing person
a girl
now a woman
a middle aged woman

as i watch my jowls chase my neck
and my ear lobes following suit
i realize how much time has really passed
since i was that scared little girl
trying to find my place
somewhere i fit in

whoosh, 40 years later
i don't feel old
until i look in that mirror

but i also see in all the lines
the cracks and crevices
the not suitable for bikinis anymore body...

accomplishment
sacrifices
victories
loss
compassion
hardships
blessings

and love

i always thought i would be afraid to grow old
but now i realize that its not age i was afraid of
but failure instead

something deeply embedded in me
failure was not an option
i know better today

for without failure
there would be no accomplishments
no victories
no loss
no self worth
and no love

for what would we use to measure these
things
measure growth
measure maturity

how would we be able to be humble
and grateful

all these emotions and marks of life
would be meaningless
for their is only one place for perfection
that place is not earth
but heaven

earth is just the ride, the journey, the path
we choose to participate in just for the heck of it
there is only one purpose of life...
to seek joy

and when we find trouble
discouragement
depression
fault
in ourselves and others

it is a reminder that we have veered off our path of joy

it's time to get back on track
again
and keep getting back on
until the day perfection is ours

seek joy
trust in your higher power
trust in yourself

avoid the mirrors