word from a friend today stating another friend passed. Gerry. i worked with G. he worked for me and was one of my best designers. he sent me a lovely email just after i was let go from my job telling me how wonderful i was to work for. he told me to keep my spirits up and my head held high. stay positive, he said. he got let go just after i did from the same company...about six months ago. i didn't know he was troubled. how could i? i learned he struggled in and out of rehab. and he couldn't find a job.
marriage issues
booze issues
life issues
so, G downed a couple of fifths last monday, called his wife at her work (she didn't answer), bit down on a barrel and left his end on voice mail. i hope he has peace now. i'm sure he does. my mourning is for his family.
i immediately called my mom after reading the news. she said she was worried about me being alone in Austin and that she didn't sleep well last night. (mom has a special worry spot in her heart for me. her alcoholic daughter. sick daughter. mom has experience. like husband like daughter. mom knows the ropes. she knows the lies. the cover ups. the deceitfulness. the obsession. she knows what this disease is capable of. after almost six years, she still worries. i get that). i told her of G and straight away reassured her that no job, no marriage, no nothing would make me do that...for this 24 hours, at least. you see, in AA that's how we live our lives. we get a 24 hour reprieve from drinking if we choose. that's all. one day at a time. i have tools if i get into thinking trouble. that's what i have today, a "thinking problem", not a drinking problem. the drinking problem comes if i don't do what i need to do to stay sober each 24 hour period that we are blessed to take part in. i found meetings in Laredo and i've attended one in Austin. more to attend tomorrow.
one day at a time
go to meetings
it works if you work it
don't quit before the miracle happens
play the tape through
you're as sick as your secrets
let go and let God
pray
pray
pray
God, grant me the SERENITY
to ACCEPT the things i cannot change
the COURAGE to change the things i can
and the WISDOM to know the difference
............................just for today,
peace out G
About me
- A lil info:
- I am many things to many different people. I have few titles and fewer awards but I am complete in all that I have accomplished. My most precious of all gifts does not belong to me yet I love as if. You may know me, but you'll never really know me because I cannot be anything more than what you want to see even though I am everything I need to be.
