time

and so you move on
when someone or something you love, like, want, need
is taken away, for whatever reason
you go through the grieving process

denial, anger, bargaining, depression and then acceptance

at acceptance, the process is complete but not necessarily over
but the healing can begin
the black cloud weighted with its uncertainty and fear
is replaced by the light of reality

and, therefore, choices must be made

the choice of how you will move on
the choice of what fashion or manner you conduct yourself
the choice of whether to ask for help or go it alone

acceptance of an unwanted circumstance does not always
mean that you are happy with it
you just don't fight it anymore
the sadness that lingers, or the frustrations and heartache
that accompany the situation may still exist

but, we have the choice to deal with it with dignity

i can only hope, through these trials and tribulations
of the past two years, that i handled myself with dignity

denial: this shit can't happen to me
anger: this shit is happening to me and everyone else is to blame for it!
bargaining: please, i can't take this shit anymore, i promise i'll be a better person
depression: i'm knee deep in shit and i can't see past it anymore
acceptance: shit happens, move on

well, its time to move on
time to say goodbye to the home i've known for so long
that i put my sweat, tears and life's savings into

time to pack up my belongings and my memories
my dreams, my comfort, my one thing that said,
"hey, you did good.  you were successful."

two years later.

i denied the inevitable, isolated my fears
i cursed the world and all its evil doers with as much anger as i could muster
i bargained like a hostage trying to save their own life
i allowed the blackness to envelope me, shielding my true potential
and, finally, i accepted that a new journey must begin; correction, HAD begun

now, it's up to me to choose how i will handle it
i choose dignity, humility, tears, courage, love and humbleness
i choose to believe that i am truly a blessed individual
i choose to believe that my earthly possessions does not determine success
i choose to allow life to happen as it may
and if that means i have to grieve to get through from time to time

so be it

no matter how hard we try to avoid grief
how hard we try to rush through the process,
to rid ourselves of emotional pain
reach the other side where the grass is really just as green

there is truly only one healer...

time