two families clash

i've realized since coming home to an already occupied house that i didn't really know the occupants at all. at least, not my daughter as a grown woman and her life as a mom and wife. we had all agreed to move them from their apartment to my house while i was living in the longhorn state. they, she, were miserable in that cramped apartment and the prospect of playing house in my much bigger ranch was the perfect solution. they had more room, cheaper rent, a yard, a garage. i had someone to keep the house up, the lawn groomed and my three feline loves fed and watered. yes, the perfect solution while i was in search of work...so we thought. the result of my early return home would prove otherwise.

the open space that i once occupied pre children and grand children was now dominated by beings of energy trying to rule, including myself. nothing was familiar. the furniture. the pictures. everything that resembled what i had achieved in the last three decades was missing; packed away in dozens of totes in the basement. this was the agreement though, pre texas

agreements made with the idea that i'd be out of state for more than two months

agreements made with the idea that i'd find a job

agreements made prior to the loneliness that set in while away from my family

agreements made prior to the depression and desperation dissipating

agreements...contracts....promises, all on the line now. two families merging under circumstances neither one wanted. territorial struggles; ownership issues; manhood issues; control issues; control...rights...commands

i've realized since i've been home that i didn't really know the occupant within me. i thought i could tolerate anything when it came to my children. i can't. especially disrespect and ungratefulness. i know when we have our own homes again, i will see them in a different light. right now, its just too dark to see anything

this too shall pass