white page
hello
black beginning to take over; contrast, sharp
welcome back
big gap in my writing!
i do not like
why is it that i cannot multitask my obsessions?
do this, remember? you love it
it's like training
you're not going to get better
or feel rewarded
by sitting on the couch and dreaming about it
you know you're good
you know this is what brings you the most happiness
let's see how big the next gap is
that's right, a challenge
Maggie's Muddles
pen to paper. keys to encrypted codes. blahs to blog. i conceal my identity yet reveal my soul.
About me
- A lil info:
- I am many things to many different people. I have few titles and fewer awards but I am complete in all that I have accomplished. My most precious of all gifts does not belong to me yet I love as if. You may know me, but you'll never really know me because I cannot be anything more than what you want to see even though I am everything I need to be.
Jan 15, 2012
it
i feel ugly
therefore i act ugly
i spread ugly
i attract ugly
there is so much of it out there
out...beyond...spoken...projected
where does "it" come from
from
within
how do i get rid of "it"
i never asked to feel this way
ok maybe i did
if i account events of my past
i'm pretty sure i invited it in when things didn't go
my way
i feel foolish
big fool
now i can't let go
won't
but i should
cuz i'm really tired of the "it" coming
back to me
like it belongs here
inside
it doesn't
it needs to go
it needs to leave me alone
anyone contributing by putting it
in my life
will need to have a boundary line
a cicle
only i'll be on the outside
sometimes as nice as i can be
only leads to someone being disappointed
i can't reach everyone
pieces of me
there is enough
if it is enough for you
if not, look elsewhere
you'll be fine
ill be fine
there will always be those out there
out...beyond...not you...private...public
that will hear joy spoken, be subjected to a positive attitude, and sometimes even presented with love
and take that as an invitation to a bad mitten game
and smack the crap out of it
out of you
poor birdie
i refuse
to participate
i will retract first
wrestle with "it" internally
maybe write a little bit about "it"
and then release "it"
once gone
not my problem
unless...
i make it mine
"it" is a lot of work
but i'll never give up
nope
the ugly
is just too ugly for me
say what cha want
time to get off the merry go round
stop
adjust
turn
begin again
as often as it takes
therefore i act ugly
i spread ugly
i attract ugly
there is so much of it out there
out...beyond...spoken...projected
where does "it" come from
from
within
how do i get rid of "it"
i never asked to feel this way
ok maybe i did
if i account events of my past
i'm pretty sure i invited it in when things didn't go
my way
i feel foolish
big fool
now i can't let go
won't
but i should
cuz i'm really tired of the "it" coming
back to me
like it belongs here
inside
it doesn't
it needs to go
it needs to leave me alone
anyone contributing by putting it
in my life
will need to have a boundary line
a cicle
only i'll be on the outside
sometimes as nice as i can be
only leads to someone being disappointed
i can't reach everyone
pieces of me
there is enough
if it is enough for you
if not, look elsewhere
you'll be fine
ill be fine
there will always be those out there
out...beyond...not you...private...public
that will hear joy spoken, be subjected to a positive attitude, and sometimes even presented with love
and take that as an invitation to a bad mitten game
and smack the crap out of it
out of you
poor birdie
i refuse
to participate
i will retract first
wrestle with "it" internally
maybe write a little bit about "it"
and then release "it"
once gone
not my problem
unless...
i make it mine
"it" is a lot of work
but i'll never give up
nope
the ugly
is just too ugly for me
say what cha want
time to get off the merry go round
stop
adjust
turn
begin again
as often as it takes
Dec 10, 2011
turnstile
I have or have been:
turned off
turned on
turned away
turned over
turned around
turned in
turned out
turned inside out
turned upside down
turned left
turned right
turned green
turned red
turned eggs
turned tricks
turned straight
turned gay
turned vegetarian
turned unitarian
turned christian
turned nondenominational
turned to stone
turned democrat
turned liberal
turned sober
turned a new page
turned over a new leaf
and
turned the channel
some of these turning points were welcomed
some were not
some were my choice
some were not
some were happy
some...not so much
but...the most pivotal, to date, turn of events, rock my world,
thought provoking,
set my moral compass in motion was...
turning 50
a season
a decade
a half century
wow
how blessed am i
because i have a song reference for just about
every situation, moment, conversation, etc.
i quote my most favorite of all songs
a song that reminds me of a time when i was young
-40 years young
and my sister would echo the words coming
from the radio, the music, and i would be still in the melodic sound,
the harmony, her voice, as this would play
From the Book of Ecclesiastes and The Byrds:
To Everything (Turn, Turn, Turn)
There is a season (Turn, Turn, Turn)
And a time to every purpose, under Heaven
i am a turnstile
turned off
turned on
turned away
turned over
turned around
turned in
turned out
turned inside out
turned upside down
turned left
turned right
turned green
turned red
turned eggs
turned tricks
turned straight
turned gay
turned vegetarian
turned unitarian
turned christian
turned nondenominational
turned to stone
turned democrat
turned liberal
turned sober
turned a new page
turned over a new leaf
and
turned the channel
some of these turning points were welcomed
some were not
some were my choice
some were not
some were happy
some...not so much
but...the most pivotal, to date, turn of events, rock my world,
thought provoking,
set my moral compass in motion was...
turning 50
a season
a decade
a half century
wow
how blessed am i
because i have a song reference for just about
every situation, moment, conversation, etc.
i quote my most favorite of all songs
a song that reminds me of a time when i was young
-40 years young
and my sister would echo the words coming
from the radio, the music, and i would be still in the melodic sound,
the harmony, her voice, as this would play
From the Book of Ecclesiastes and The Byrds:
To Everything (Turn, Turn, Turn)
There is a season (Turn, Turn, Turn)
And a time to every purpose, under Heaven
i am a turnstile
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