when i finally got back to work from
my two year unplanned hiatus
i got addicted to NPR talk radio and
other news channels.
my commute to and from work is really
long and this helped pass the time
exciting stuff, eh?
i thought so
i don't know why i didn't listen to music,
just had a craving to hear people talk,
and talk...
and then talk some more
about nothing and about everything.
they discussed what's happening around the world
in Afghanistan, China, Greece, Egypt and about our own
government's petty squabbling, and their opinion of it
news
mostly bad
because i'm a hopeless liberal,
humanitarian and philanthropist,
drawn and concerned about every one's well being,
both physical and cyber, i'm easily engrossed.
so i listened,
and then listened some more.
bad idea
something began to feel very wrong.
me.
out of balance
out of harmony
out of steam
as the months went on and i continued to listen
as they talked
they on the radio
hour after hour
i slowly felt myself becoming more and more depressed
heavy, listless, forcing just enough energy from my
cells to get through the day and earn my paycheck
by the time the weekend finally showed up,
arriving at the speed of a turtle,
and not the baby newborn turtle speed,
you know, the ones that zoom across the sand in
an attempt to make it to the ocean before something
eats them? not those turtles. the big tortoise turtles speed.
anyway, the weekend took its sweet ass getting here
and when it did, i was toast
neurons not sparking too well and mentally ill.
and i couldn't figure out why.
Saturday became a rejuvenate day
(unless i had something planned for that day too,
or planned for me)
by Sunday evening i felt refreshed again and
motivated to clean the house or maybe do some writing
but it was Sunday.
which meant the next day was Monday.
and i would repeat the routine all over again.
news
mostly bad
i blamed the weather for my not feeling right
seasonal depression
took melatonin, and calcium and vitamin D
nothing was making me feel better
enough!
i don't know what hit me or what got my attention
to say, "enough!"
but i did say it
i needed help and got it
i remembered some of my spiritual tools
and what i learned from some great teachers
of the past and present...just like that
what you think is what you get, i recalled
kind of like "you are what you eat" sort of thing
i turned the radio off
i turned Facebook off
i put in some CD's of one of my favorite spiritual teachers
and became new
i got my energy back
my smile back
my clarity back
i stopped the infection
by not participating in the negative
(something i preach about all the time)
i did return to Facebook
because a few friends asked me too
but i monitor my intake, my output
and even removed a few habitual downers
i feel better now. much better
and with the dawning of spring
and the sunshine that will ensue
i'll feel even better than better
no news is good news
indeed
