recession

i did a research paper on
the 2008 burst of the housing bubble

pop! pop!

i didn't even know what the fuck
that meant "housing bubble"
how ignorant i am...no...was

i took my education for granted
took those opportunities and
disregarded them

it wasn't my fault, you know,

the disappearance of my job
the disappearance of my 401
the disappearance of my good credit
the disappearance of my home
the disappearance of me

i feel "me" changing
everything i thought i was supposed
to work for was wrong

it is my fault
i wasn't paying attention

the ache in my stomach
reminds me that i haven't
let go of the wheel

got a death grip on the ores
as i struggle to fight the
current of the river...
what i want is upstream
so it feels like

what, i can't be bitter?
i can't be pee oh-ed that
things aren't goin my way?

that i played the game hard
and with diligence and still...

lost

no, this isn't pitty
not anymore
this is bitter

the bitter that stings
that eats away at the lining
that blocks my dreams
and monopolizes my thoughts

i spend way too much time
in my thoughts, in my head

the bitter is causing the ache

it is my fault

what a lesson
bring it on...recession

returning

i'm back
i missed my blog

thank you to my fellow blogsters for distracting me from following my own life to following theirs

blogging is like reality TV, minus the cast
just the script. nothing but the script (and probably a lot more true!)

but, I miss writing in my blog
so, I'm back.

though i love to blog
this blog has served its purpose
i shall take my creativity down a different path

actually, its prolly the same path...just different scenery
the scenery in my mind has been a bit gray lately

or,

maybe the kind of path that im on will change
like...it's a two-track instead of just foot worn

or,
maybe it's paved with cobble stone
or asphalt, whatever

anyway, an unstoppable force is coming my way
which means i've got to move

wish me luck

"good luck, me"