Ponderance

I've written of fears of leaving my family, leaving my surroundings, leaving the smell of an early spring morning in these moldy and moss covered grounds. But one thing I realized today is that I will also be leaving my friends...my lesbian friends. It took years to find good friends that you could trust. Those that didn't play games. Those that weren't looking for anything but my friendship. Years.

Sitting with my girlfriend (not my lover) this evening. Each of us perched on the couch, wrapped in our cozy throws, sharing the same foot stool, watching the Piston game. Sometimes we'd talk. Sometimes we'd just sit and stare at the silly game on the TV; silence. And we were perfectly content.

Silence

Game over

Make a CD of Slumdog Millionaire

Watch Jay and Silent Bob...laugh, laugh, laugh

Say good night

Hug

Drive home

I wonder if I will be able to find this in Texas?

details, details, details

The law of attraction states, and I paraphrase, that which you focus your attention upon the most is that which you receive or attract. I know the universe, one source energy, that which we call God, is responding to my intentions. I just wasn't focusing on the details. I asked for a job, I asked for warm weather, I asked for a peaceful change in my life. So, now, eight months after losing my job ,I'm moving to Texas. Hmmm. Okay, well I don't have a job to go to...yet...but, the weather IS warm, to say the least, and I DO feel peaceful knowing that there are better opportunities for me there than here in the mitten state. I am blessed with a loving group of siblings, one of whom, along with his super darling wife, is making this move a possibility. They are so generous and excited about me coming. Me too. Me not. Want to go, must go, happy to finally get back on my feet. Sad to go, must go, will miss those in the mitten state.

practice what i preach

okay, so, it's been over six months...(6)...since I held a real job. I'm not talking 'bout my new biz, or the job as mom or gramma, or the job where I take care of my house and laundry and cats, etc. None of that "domestic goddess" crap, but a "REAL" job with REAL money coming in and going out. It seems I'm feeling more of the pressure with all that shiny, sparkly, bitter cold frozen rain drapped all over the landscape. It's uninviting to say the least. Everything seems to be standing still; the unemployment index; the job recruiter; the dark clouds hovering from the skies; punxsutawney phil, or however you spell that groundhogs name, whom I kindly refer to as "fat bastard"; the government as they collect themselves in large rooms and argue about what to do next; and me. oh, if i could just get this positive energy flowing and spread across the universe. that's what i tell everyone: we make our own dreams come true with the energy we put out there, right? i tell people to stay focused; this too shall pass; if your ship don't come in-swim out to it! well, i need to start swimming. just a minute while i go find my suit. a dose of my own medicine is long over due. ♥ by the way...school is going okay. it's gets me out of the house and into the frozen tundra!