tammy's plight

she writes one of my favorite blogs of which i follow
if you know me
really know me
then you know who i'm talking about

she is famous and is, was, married to a another famous person
i guess they still are...for now

anyway, she doesn't write much lately
or she writes and then takes it away
i wonder if its because of legal reasons
no matter
i'm missing her writing

she inspires me
she inspires me to push through this difficult time i'm having
she inspires me to pursue my dreams

i knew her before she was the famous singers wife
when she stood on her own as an actress
i appreciate her even more as a writer, a fellow blogger
i hope she does more

i miss her stories of the "kidlets" and her
daily mundane tasks
her quirky humor and her tell-it-like-it-is style
i miss her swearing...cuz i like to swear...i do

i wish her well, and strength, and support
she'll bounce back, she will
i know this
by reading what she writes

a battle not lost

each day is the same
yet brings me closer to a goal
the sunshine helps
brings warmth to my soul

don't worry 'bout all that stuff
pa does say
something will work out
that's what we call faith

ma conceals her worry
under bated breath she pines
as i and my sibs
fight wire, tape and mines

though hands clasp ours
words blanket our tears
outsiders look over us
but can't stop the fear

i don't know what's worse
being the one in the turmoil
or the one that can only
offer words to console

for the pain is as great
for both sides of the fence
everyone loses something...

non of this makes sense

so try as i may
to continue my plight
i may have lost the war
but i shall not lose the fight

at least not today

can't we all just play nice in the sand box

why is there so much concern about who
believes what?

is it self preservation?
self esteem?
self worthiness?
or just
self-isssssh

stand alone people get lost in
the numbers

sometimes, though, they get heard
and put in the category of ignorant liberals

just be nice
just be kind
let every one speak
without worry that they might
get bashed...verbally and sometimes physically

it seems against human nature to be able
to play in the sand box nice
there's always got to be a little sand thrown...
it's just too damn tempting

swish swish swish

it's not so bad
cleaning toilets that is
cleaning toilets that are not my own
cleaning toilets at a manufacturing plant
nine in total

due to the economy, this company couldn't afford
their cleaning service anymore so...
because they know me...they ask
if would be interested in doing
so

hmmm, this response was easy

yes!

the great mitten state is cutting
me off from their generous bi-weekly donations

yes!

i need the small pittance of pay so
i can keep my worldly possessions

car, insurance, cell phone

yes!

men are such pigs!
oh...my...higer power and supreme being, ruler of the universe...God!
it was all i could do to keep from hurling my day's food intake
as well as the day before's!

i will spare you the details

there once was a girl from Lapeer
who strived to impress her peers
worked her ass off and climbed that ladder
reached the top and was made an engineer

one day the bubble popped
life as i knew it stopped
i was forced to climb down that ladder
only slipped and to the ground i dropped

a couple years later i continue to wait for princess charming
the job market, to say the least, is oh so alarming
so i do what i can with a can do attitude
and swish those toilets with pride...

...and gloves, face mask, safety glasses and lighting speed!

(okay, so the last line doesn't rhyme. who gives a fuck)

swish swish swish

and then there was light

i don't know where the shift came from
i just know it came

relief

i hear it in my voice
in my words

coulda been the meetings
maybe getting outside these walls
and outside myself

coulda been the warmth of the sun
permeating my skin and through to
my heart, melting the ice cold
sadness that formed into a
giant glacier

coulda been the opportunity to
put in a hard days labor
washing, cleaning, scrubbing, sweeping
all to earn some desperately needed
pride and a few greens

calm

i knew the darkness had swept in swiftly
and unforgiving but somehow I managed to remain
conscious of it...and its potential

God

but then the light showed up
the heaviness was lifted
the potential shifted
i shifted, the universe shifted
i WAS shifted

i knew it was coming
i just didn't know when
i stopped waiting
and there it was
here it IS

peace